Rollin

Finally I get round to writing something. It's been nigglin' at the back of my head that something is missing. This may be it. Maybe blogging a bit will alleviate this sense of emptiness. Or maybe I just need to get a job.

Oh boy, hasn't it been a Happy New Year? Obama inauguration, that little war in Israel ended and some other stuff. Yes, there was United romping Chelsea 3-0 at Old Trafford, amen for that. Tottenham haven't been giving me too much to smile about though. On the local scene our MP's are clowning, so nothing new there.

I now have a broadband connection at home, with unlimited downloads, which is super awesome. I don't pay for it. Thanks Dad. I also had a chance to rejoin Kencall on their latest account, which would have involved me, speaking in Swahili (a no can do) to starving Kenyans. It was a tough choice, but I opted out. I feel for the drones working out there on the floor. But they should feel more for me, my bank account is seriously getting depleted.

Summer was a blast, and continues to be a blast. Rock n Roll lifestyles, I've been tearing up my locals, Casablanca and Alfajiri and going on notorious 3 day coke snorting, x poppin and weed smokin fueled rampages usually ending in wild sex games on Monday morning. Then recovery begins, because Friday is round sooner than you know it. I could keep it up forever, whether I should is an entirely different matter.

As for my angel, she came back sometime last month. I'm trying to avoid her as much as possible. I focus on my other passions, such as football and drugs. So far so good. We were at a party together the other night, an impromptu affair, Guinness for the boys and cocktails for the sheilas, we didn't say a single word to each other.

Rock on.

Everlong

The Badger, the African Honey Badger is the baddest of all animals. I dare you to find a beast more hardcore than this cross between a mongoose and a god!!!

So the weekend is almost here. What will i do... a soiree with uber models, yes they are the ones just above super models...no seriously. You know, they are usually Brazillian or Venezuelan, just fucking gorgeous. These chicks belong on clouds, enticingly playing the harp, they are fucking angels. If only i really did hang out with such chicks.

I'm working on Saturday, which totally sucks balls. At least i've got the shitty side of the work out of the way. So tomorrow i can just slack off and surf facebook or 'thebook' as i like to call it. I guess it means i'll do the whole Alfajiri and a cigar thing and hope some cougar wants a piece of this pie.

I got over the whole ranting thing, because people hate a whinger. Also cos i really have nothing to whinge about that's of any real consequence or actually remotely serious. I live in a sweet house, i have a huge bedroom, i get to do as many drugs as i want, when i want. I get laid pretty much at a whim...so i figure why whinge?

Last night my Lilly Whites played Spartak at White Hart Lane, so i ended up going down to the pub and spending the last of my pay on celebrating our comeback from 2 goals down!! Nothing in this world gives me as much pleasure as watching Spurs. Nobody understands. They just want to support teams in blue and red. Fuck 'em they can eat my salty ball jam.

This week i've been listening to Jeff Buckley. Me and one of my ex's used to listen to his shit all the time. It's a pity he died so young and only got to release one album, i can only imagine the amazing music he'd be laying on us. Great voice and guitar skills to match the greatest of all time. If you get a chance, give it a listen, it's amazing stuff.

Hurry up and pass it before you get your ass kicked

So my favourite pass time of all time is just chillin' out and getting maaad baked with my boys. So last night when I got home and checked into my living room, it was awesome to run into a couple of my neighbours playing some FIFA 09 on thePlaystation. There was beer in the fridge, a bottle of vodka in the freezer and a BRAND NEW BONG!!! They even brought munchies!! I thought it was heaven, someone had to pinch me.

It's been forever since I smoked some green, like 3 days... and even longer since I smoked from a proper water pipe. My eyes literally watered. Then I burst into tears when I was informed it was mine to keep. I didn't drink anything, I was just packing bowl after bowl. There was a moments of tension, when one of my boys said he didn't like the bong...he's an idiot though, we rolled him a joint and made sure he got it last. You should have seen how he was begging me to pass it. He should learn to smoke a pipe.

Story short, we got totally baked. I haven't laughed so hard in a long time. Nobody took themselves seriously. It totally made my crappy day yesterday that much better. We also took it in turns to bad mouth my ex-girlfriend. Turns out all my boys agree with me, or they didn't wanna get shot.

I like dweeeee...legalize it already.

Curious George and the Ebola Virus

Time for some randomness..

Went for one of my many strolls around the work place cos my ass was getting numb and my ears were beginning to buzz. This job stinks. The person on my right is really secretive. The person on my left has some sort of cold/flu and she's sleeping and watching How I Met Your Mother in between phone calls. So i figured I'd make a list of 10 things I'd rather be doing now. We all like lists.

1. Smoking bud - Many of you probably think I've had enough for a lifetime. But I'd rather be killing my brain cells than having them rot away at this computer screen.

2. Having Sex - This needs no explanation. If I could stay home and shag all day I'd just be the happiest camper in the world.

3. Getting in a drunken stupour! - I'd rather be getting maggot, fitshased, fucked up, throwed, plastered, sloshed, sloppy drunk, crunk. I know some mates who do this everyday, where they get the money I don't know..I know for a fact that one of them has various tabs all across the city.

4. Swimming - Cos it's fucking hot!

5. Playing football or cricket - This is more fun than sex, though a bit more exhausting.

6. Surfing - The cold water, waves, and I'd have to be far away from Kenya. Preferably on the Goldcoast with old mates with an icebox full of stubbies on the beach just waiting for me.

7. Eating - One of those steers burgers and ice cold coke. Cos it's hot!

8. Killing People Online - One of my favourite things in the whole wild world is a game called Counter Strike. If I could be online now, just pwning no0bs I could die on my ride home and have no regrets. Total ownage!

9. Sleeping - This is always an option. You can never get bored or go wrong with sleep.

10. Sitting somewhere else - My neighbours are boring. Fuck 'em...I kinda wish I could, at least they'd entertain me a bit.

Fuck I'm bored.

Customer Service Respresentative Asshole!!!

I hate the agents that work on the other side. They make my work seem absolutely pointless. My stress levels are through the roof. If only i was more calm and collected and had spent some time with Mary last night, I'm sure I'd have been much cooler.

The lesson to be learned here is, it doesn't matter how much training, or how good your trainers are. If your company hires incompetent idiots on the ground, then the people on the floor and behind the scenes will suffer for their incompetence.

If I see an agent, I'll rip their heads off and shit down their throat!

Megalomania

When i sauntered into work this morning, well rested and ready to go, I expected to be here for another day of outbound hell. I thanked God when i heard it was over and we'd no longer be getting tortured.

Well today my account manager decided she'd come back from leave...Oh no, I'm shivering. I guess that means we have to start working hard again. She is a pretty imposing figure, and she'd probably crush me if she wanted to. I heard she can run pretty fast too, so i don't think running will be an option for me.

There was a time working in this all white warehouse seemed like the best thing in the world. But i guess i was under some sort of hypnotic daze and mild radiation poisoning from the computer screens.

So my superiors with a smirk on their faces, have decided to extend my contract for another week and continue to pay us peanuts. They've also added 50,000 more numbers to the outbound side of this account. Which means the 50 of us have to make 1000 calls each. OH GOD! I think I'll probably kill somebody at the end of this account.

Is customer service really a job for me. I mean I'm a customer, and I'd hate me if I called me (it makes sense). So dealing with agents and other eeejit (to borrow a term from Ange) customers is really making me question, how much I really need the money. I've already sold out on one of my punk principles by working for the man.

Working on Maggies farm sucks balls.

I Hate Country Music

So my inspiration for this latest publication is my work station neighbour. God bless her, and he probably does, but she likes country music. Since it is in my nature to piss people off, i decided to type out a blog entitled I hate country music. Because i really do. Also because she's watching

Country music is the heartbeat of redneck America and everybody knows America smells like rancid balls on a 3 week old corpse you might find by the side of an Alabama road.. the only thing that stinks more than country music is Leanne Rimes music, which is some sort of pop/country... or her general crotch area. Probably the latter. If I ever see her I'll probably through up, faint and choke on my own vomit...alright that's a lie, I'd probably try shag her.

When i was a boy, there was no iPods and, we didnt have a CD player in both our cars, Walkmans were no good, the battery's only lasted like 2 hours, and Discmans would shake too much and skip all the time. Luckily (or unluckily, you be the judge) i didn't grow up in Kenya, . Hence, every holiday we used to get, we used to fly out here and go straight to my family ranch. Which is a long drive, my mother would intertwine these trips to hell and back with her own form of torture, hours of Dolly Parton and Kenny Rogers. The only good part is when she'd play Johnny Cash, country music's saving grace.

You lucky bastard children with your iPods. You can just escape the hell of your parents music.